Back to 2009

I know y'all are waiting for The Epic All Anal April post, it's coming, but in the mean time I want to post about the current sports world.

If you remember back to 2009, when BMsF was in it's heyday, right around this time the Nuggets were playing outta their minds and the Royals weren't sucking. Guess what, it's happening again. Except there are two very different things happening...

The Nuggets are a totally new team. That are absolutely a blast to watch. If you didn't enjoy yesterday's game against the Lakers, then you don't enjoy sports and therefore you're gay. This is a team of scrappy players that just play hard and play together. Kenyon Martin destroyed the bitch known as Lamar Odom and Nene took down Pau - fucking Spanish douche. They clinched a playoff spot and I want anyone to provide a good reason why they can't make a deep run...

The Royals are 3-1. Let's just live in the moment. They aren't going to be great this year but they are going to decent plus they got tons of youth in the system that should kill it in the coming years. It will be fun. All 4 games this past weekend were fun.

This is the best time of the year. Spring is coming, baseball is in full swing and then NBA referee's are deciding the NBA championship. I need to make my $1800 gambling debt back very soon or else Tony is gonna be pissed. Let's hope the Royals start 34-2 or else I'm out $24,000 or if the Nuggets sweep everyone in the Playoffs, I can also win a cool $14.23. Money Money Money.

Go Nuggets. Go Royals. 

Do I Put Out A Gay Vibe? UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE

Please read the below post first.

I have an update regarding the Do I Put Out A Gay Vibe? post...

I spoke to the girl I danced/grinded with all night, who is a much more reliable source after thinking about it. I decided to ask her because I spent a lot more of my night with her, she's an extrovert, wild, and more open. I've been racking my brain with what I did that night or what Mike's girls is thinking...

This is the response from the dancer girl...
My question: "Weird question, the other girl sat night asked if I'm gay for unknown reasons - did/do I put out a gay vibe?"
Response: "U definitely do not, one of my best friends is gay & I hang out with enough gays to say absolutely not. Her gaydar must be shot"

She also mentioned I was a great dancer (not just for a white person either) - not sure if that helps my case, but I'll take it!!

Honestly, that was the best text I've received. Better than 'it's not aids, just a bad cold' or 'not pregnant' or 'earthquake in Japan, thousands lost'.

Feeling much better. I also asked a co-worker and she said no as well. So two trust worthy sources say no and one very unreliable, not accepting person thinks so. I think I'm good.

I honestly think, this other girl, is just not that open minded and didn't understand Boat Shoes or guys with good hair or guys who don't care what people think or what they say. Well I'm all of those and not been gay since '86!!!

If any of you still don't feel safe about your anuses when I'm around, we can discuss that, although I would just take it as a compliment.

As I look deeper into her response...should I be gay? Get a bunch of girls as friends and then run train? I'm thinking that might be an OK way to go about it? I would just have to work on my transitions, but I got the time. That's a post for another day (I'm already laughing, haha lol).

So all in all, this is what has come out of this incident...
- Attractive, non-judgmental girls don't find me gay, they find me fun and a great dancer. That could push me a little close to the friend zone but I'll work that out.
- Mike's girl is my #1 NEMESIS (until she explains her thoughts) HATE HATE HATE! 

What a roller coaster 2.5 days. I think I learned a lot and am ready to move on. I'll continue being myself because I'm FUCKING AWESOME!!!!!!!!!

NOT GAY!!!!

(but supportive)

Do I Put Out A Gay Vibe?

I ask this question,  do I put out a gay vibe? Because, last night me and some other people went to Beta, only because we got hooked up and swagged out. Two of the people that went were Mike and his 'lady friend' (a weird situation)...and I guess today she asked Mike if I was literally gay. I'm not sure if Mike said that I wasn't but that's not the point. I guess she thought I was too 'put together' and 'stylish' and that's what she was basing her judgment off of.

What the fuck? Because I shower? Because I wear Boat Shoes to dance in? Because I have hair and choose to style it? Maybe it was me grinding with another girl for 2 hours straight - could that have been confusing? Maybe because after the grinding it looked like I had a can of pringles in my pants? Maybe I was having too much fun? Maybe because I drank 3/4s of a bottle of vodka by myself? Maybe because I didn't try and hit on her? Maybe because I was throwing money around like it's going out of style? I'm trying to figure this out...

Honestly, I don't care, I'm just confused (not sexually, confused about her question). Do more girls feel this way? Am I constantly vibing gay? This girl seems nice, she seems a little introverted and calm - maybe I shocked her with the story of a girl throwing up in my car? Maybe she just hates me? But seriously do I put out a gay vibe?

Are you my readers, concerned about your ass holes when I'm around? Well maybe in April, but any other time?

I'm going to ask this girl in person to tell me why she thought that. I'm also going to ask the girl I danced with all night...did she just dance with me because she thought I was gay? That girl is kind of slutty, so I'm not sure she'll be a great resource. Maybe, Saturday I just gayed it up.

I'm somewhat taking it as a compliment. You know, girls are always looking for gay friends, so I could fill that niche but then I just have to figure out how to work that into straight sexual intercourse. Which, correct me if I'm wrong, is when a penis and vagina do something?? Who knows.

But honestly, let me know, if I'm putting out a gay vibe. I'm just trying to be fun, a douche, honest, stylish, well groomed - - and if that makes a man gay then maybe I want to be gay. Because no vagina is worth being boring, nice, deceitful, un-stylish, and dirty aka Mexican!!

And if I can't convince her otherwise, well then I can only do one thing, fuck her right then right there and give her the best straight lovin' a man ever has!! HAZAA!!!


BTW - Found this video of me dancing on Saturday night on YouTube, I don't see anything wrong or gay with it, except maybe I went a little bit heavy on the spray tan?!?! Maybe you see something different?

Sittin' Here/Drinkin'/Listenin' to Music/Writin' a Poli Sci Paper

I deeply miss college. Not just the crazy orgies and drug binges, but also the work, the lively and challenging conversations. I just plain miss college. Professional life is boring, it's stagnant, it's uneventful.

Sure every day I walk to my cubicle, I don't know how many trucks of Mexi Rebar I'm going to buy but if it's one or 3 million, it's all the same. There is no difference. I often find myself making mistakes simply for the chance to correct those mistakes at a later point. Do I want the Chinese to ship entirely wrong material? No, of course not. Do I want to spend an entire day yelling at the Chinese for shipping the wrong material in fortune cookie fashion? Of course. That would be like...You will be getting butt fucked for fucking me - learn english...FUCK YOU.

I like homework. I like group assignments. I like talking about nothing but having it mean so much more.

I don't enjoy my lack of lumbar support. I don't like talking about growing up and getting married or having several Tim Jr's. running around.

I do like politics. I don't like business politics. It's so fucking stupid and just fucking slows down the entire process. Fuck bosses.

Am I done at 24 (almost 25)? It feels that way. Every day I wake up and wonder, how can I continue to get excited for the same shit, day in, day out. At least in college, it was a different discussion each day, a different STD each day.

But now my Herpes has cleared. Sure they say you can never get rid of herpes but let's face it, who cares? It's a battle wound. The girls I meet these days are ambitious. Looking for something. They aren't looking for their purse and a way out of my bed. They're looking for a future, for stability. What the fuck is that?

Are any of my skills sharpening? No. They are decreasing. I have nothing right now, I have boredom and complacency. But that does provide me with one thing...

It provides me with a way out. It provides me with something to look for, something to look forward to. Who knows what is on the horizon. But I can only hope it's not this for another 50 years. Sure I have good memories and good stories but what happened after 23?? Is there anything? Yes. I must push forward. Possibly I start small. Win a summer softball championship and then continue moving on. Maybe I buy a bike and just start riding. Maybe I go to Vegas and win a ton of money, marry a hooker and settle down.

I don't know. I'm looking for stories to tell, stories to enlighten, but there's nothing. Right now. I need to go back to school. I need to learn more and explore more. I mean for god sakes - - ALL ANAL APRIL starts in just over a week. I gotta get that shit on lock down. I'm not going to lie, if you're in school right now, it's probably the best time you'll ever have. Unless you get a job at an Arts and Craft store and meet the parrot, I mean, girl of your dreams.

I don't want to be debbie downer but that's what a little alcohol does for me these days.

My bracket failed this year. Out over a grand. But don't worry, money is the least of my problems. Just remember, two years ago I was just like you but now not two years removed from my undergraduate studies, I'm bored, I'm angry, still horny but I mean come on, that's for life.

Has this just been a post of rambling? Of course. Will I have an eventful story soon? Probably not. Although there is a concert coming up that will involve copious amounts of drugs, so hopefully that night will provide something solid.  There is still the same CcT somewhere. He is somewhere. He will emerge sometime soon. Just have patience. He appeared in Europe. He appeared in some basketball games this year. He's found his dream girl. He likes music, too much. He likes baseball, too much. He's got a 10 page paper to write on the IMF and Globalization for a girl he works with. He's improving. Soon he'll be back. Hopefully, by the time summer rolls around so he can enjoy the warm weather in jean shorts and a mustache and a PBR.

Life will continue. I love life. I love myself, to the point of chaffing.

The EXCITING Weekend of a 24 Year Old

One of the great features of BMsF of the past were the true (even though many people felt they were fabricated) stories that happened to CcT. These were often very simple events but spun into great stories that even Great Gatsby couldn't compete with - I think that makes sense?? Well as you have noticed, since college ended and my professional career began - these stories are non existent, for one very good reason: There have been no stories...but that all changed (not really, just felt like writing).

I wanted to try and get a story up that shows what an exciting weekend is to a 24 year old. I understand that my general readership is younger - not "I'm Chris Hansen" young but still young enough to have fun. So even though this was a weird weekend, it's probably nothing compared to what y'all did....

Some names have been changed...for no apparent reason...I go by Steve Stephens Stephenson III....

Thursday / March 3, 2011 - Story starts after work...

6:15 pm - Went to the Dentist, got loaded on novocain and had 2 cavities filled.  I think I was given way too much novocain for the procedure but who am I to complain? Pretty pissed that the dum dums and coke finally caught up to me but that's why I have dental insurance and a membership to Sam's Club, don't fucking forget that I'm a professional.

7:00 pm - Went home, grabbed some food - pretty sure it was Reese's Peanut Butter Hearts and Mountain Dew Voltage (PROFESSIONAL DINNER). Could only use the right side of my mouth, since the left side was still numb, I drooled quite a bit but as always, looked damn good doing it. Changed shirts and watched the Royals on TV.

10:00 pm - Decided to go out with this girl, Erin. A little girl background...only hung out a few times, only knew her for about three/four weeks - who the fuck cares. We had a mutual friend. I never wanted/expected anything to come from this friendship/acquaintance, just have some fun and then go our own ways. Nut up or shut up, that sounds kinda gay. Anyways, we started hanging out at her house, smoking and drinking with a few other people...

Friday / March 4, 2011

1:30 am - By now it was just me and Erin - we decided we'd venture out, head downtown. What a fucking pair of dumb asses. 1:30 am Friday morning, shit is shutting down. Everything is dead or dying. We couldn't find anything, but I definitely should not have been driving. So after driving around just chillin' - listening to music and smoking some more (not in the car), we decided to head back. Coming back on I-25, right past I-25 and Yale she looks at me with a pale face and says "I'm not feeling real good..." next thing I know, brahhhhhh brrrrrrrrrruhhhhh, vomit spewing as if Mount Vesuvius was in the passenger seat. The passenger side floor mat was covered, at least she had the common sense/decency to contain it all into that area. Well the smell started to fill the car, not sure what she had for dinner, but it sure as hell was no Reese's Peanut Butter Hearts and Mountain Dew Voltage. Well I skid to a stop on the side of I-25, getting out and trying to avoid the vomit chain reaction. She's able to finish on the side of the road, I'm able to carefully lift up the floor mat and dump it's contents on the side of the interstate. Avoiding any major fiasco - it could have been MUCH worse.

2:30 am - I'm able to drop her off at her home and wish her a good life. You DO NOT FUCK WITH MY CAR, even if it's an accident.

2:45 am - I make it home. Thank god I had an old set of floor mats that I was easily able to put in the car and for the most part make most of the incident disappear. I sprayed some febreze and armor alled (?) the components. I cleaned any carpet and upholstery that had any traces of vomit. Sprayed some more febreze and if you never knew this took place you would never know. Remember I did all this drunk/hung over and a little high, it came out very nice. In fact, someone rode in that exact seat on Saturday and didn't know one thing - he did point out my poor speaker system, fucker...

3:20 am - I finally climb into bed after deleting Erin's number from my phone. She might have been too much fun.

6:00 am - Wake up, shower, drink coke and mountain dew, down Advil.

7:00 am - Go to work

7:15 am - Decking meeting. The topic: How can we expand our 4+ million dollars of sales in the Denver market over the next year? Answer: Burn all current decks to the ground (not really).

4:45 pm - Go home

5:15 pm - Plan a nap. Have plans at 10:00 with this girl, Rachael. A little girl background...been hanging out for about four months. Met each other via a coworker. Real cool girl, just simple, hang out once a week or so and have fun. Nothing crazy. Set my alarm for 9:00 pm so I can meet up with her. Don't fall asleep till like 7:00 pm.

Saturday / March 5, 2011

11:00 am - Wake up, confused out of my fucking mind. Realized I slept for 16 hours and missed all plans. Have 3 missed calls from Rachael, an angry voice mail and a several profane texts. She does not respond to anything I send her (still hasn't).

11:45 am - Go to get a hair cut. Nice and relaxing, short hair again. Forget about everything else.

1:00 pm - Go jogging with Moose (Este).

2:00 pm - Set plans to play racquetball and basketball at 3:30 pm with Koko and GG, why the fuck not?

3:15 pm - Go to pick up GG and buy racquetballs at Sports Authority. Asian kid at Sports Authority recognizes me from Arapahoe, my only assumption is that he was part of my Korean Gang, the Chinese Dragons. We were huge. Legen - wait for it - dary. Got very angry at Sports Authority when I realized that Racket sports only have a small corner not near any other athletic gear. What the fuck??

3:45 pm - Dominate racquetball and basketball, of course....

6:30 pm - Get food, make up a story so I don't have to hang with Koko for the rest of the night. Talk to Mikey.

8:00 pm - Get home, change, rest up - possibly look at porn - no possibly, I do look at porn.

9:15 pm - Head out towards Wash Park.

9:35 pm - Get to a small bar in Wash Park, drink and play darts. Mike leaves at like 10:00 pm.

11:30 pm - Me and two others head towards another bar at 6th and Logan. Decent scene. Used a Saab pick up line, didn't hit.

Sunday / March 6, 2011

12:39 am - One of the guys I was with starts talking to this obliterated chick. I mean obliterated - she has NO clue what is going on. Spend the rest of the night just drinking and hanging out.

1:30 am - Last call. Obliterated girl, still with us. Falls off stool - fucking hilarious. We face a moral dilemma, what do we do with this girl? If I would have been 21 I would have bailed and left her to get raped or kill several others in a car crash. Since we're somewhat good people we decided we'd try and get her home (and then rape her - 100% joke). We were able to get her address from her and then realized that she lived north of Stapleton, basically at MLK Blvd and Quebec. Well fuck...

1:45 am - Pile into my car, of course. She's starting to come to a little and promises us some weed, not very interested just trying to stay alive. She then calls her boyfriend (even though she apparently tried several times previously for a ride) and gives me the phone so I can explain the situation, I don't and he seems a little drunk and pissed that three guys are driving his girlfriend home. We're all starting to get a little STARTLED.

2:10 am - Start getting close to her house, which she owns and pays a mortgage on, except it was an apartment complex. Retard. Side note...funny joke that seems to always make people laugh no matter the situation. Whenever you pull into a somewhat seedy area, hit the door lock button on the car, especially if you have loud door locks like mine, it is a riot. No one can resist the perfect timing of 4 doors locking simultaneously. CLASSIC.

2:15 am - Park at her apartment complex. Try and get her to her apartment, climb the outside stairs to her supposed door. She can't find her keys. Dumps out her entire purse on the steps. She then slowly rolls down the stairs in a moment of mixed sadness and hilarity. We do what any drunk guys would do, haul ass....for no real reason except that we'd had enough. One guy didn't notice the chain that was hanging about 1 foot off the ground. He ate shit in the parking lot. Again, hilarious. He got pretty beat up but nothing major.

2:25 am - Peel out of the parking lot, start driving back towards the first bar. Realize the guy who fell does not have his cell phone. We all start screaming, again no apparent reason, make a mad Uie and spend a few moments searching for the phone where he fell. All the while, obliterated girl is still laying at the bottom of the stairs. Find phone.

2:30 am - Crank the techno, get out of the hood. Followed by a cop for several blocks. I mean 3 white kids in a black Saab around MLK at 2:30 Sunday Morning driving drunk - not good.

2:55 am - Arrive back at bar one. Everyone gets in their respective cars and we leave.

3:15 am - After driving the speed limit all the way, finally get home. Watch Frasier, need some smart humor. Fall asleep.

11:00 am - Wake up. Watch Date Night staring Steve Carell and Tina Fey, not great. Ate more Reese's Peanut Butter Hearts.

1:30 pm - Did laundry. Cleaned. Napped.

6:30 pm - Went to the horses, brushed them, rode one...saw a pack of coyotes, thought I was gonna die. Didn't.

8:30 pm - Picked up food.

9:30 pm - Took out the trash.

10:00 pm - Showered and watched Seinfeld.

11:00 pm - Porn and Music.

Monday / March 7, 2011

12:05 am - Bed.

6:00 am - Woke up

7:00 am - Went to work.

5:40 pm - Came home from work.

7:00 pm - Ate Chili - homemade.

8:00 pm - Blogged.



The above events are 100% true and accurate as far as I can remember. As you were probably thinking, I should have lied since it sounded so gay. But that is a 100% true account of one weekend of a professional 24 year old, who is really clinging to scraps of his once former greatness.

I hope you enjoyed it. I know it's nothing like your life but still I've lived many great nights before, this was just a weird set of nights that I thought I should share.

Sorry for the grammar and spelling errors.

Juggalo or Juggalette

Had a recent discussion with someone regarding cult/gang/weirdos that worship Insane Clown Posse (ICP) - which are labeled Juggalo or Juggalette . I think we can all remember these kids from school. Wearing black, spiked hair, trying to act really bad ass but in all honesty they encompassed the outside douche bag that had no friends besides other ICP fags. They thought life was so hard and everyone hated them, that's why they needed to be like that but in actuality it was because they were like that, that everyone hated them.  Well I found this recently released video by ICP (check the video below), that I really think shows that they have real talent, it is so deep, just take a look at this verse...

"Water, fire, air and dirt - fuckin' magnets, how do they work? And I don't want to talk to a scientist, y'all motherfuckers lying and gettin' me pissed"

Rewind Yourself

I was just listening to a KC radio interview regarding the youth of the Royals. One of players in for the interview was Jason Kendall - an aging, not very solid catcher - who for some reason plays for the Royals. However, this is not a Royals post, there will be plenty of those shortly. This post is for a an excellent catch phrase that Jason Kendall yelled during the interview, that I will attempt to make the catch phrase of the year....

REWIND YOURSELF

Those two words are going to be uttered by me every chance I get. Even if I don't use them in the correct context, it doesn't matter, because they can be used in any circumstance. For instance..

• You suck at basketball...REWIND YOURSELF
• Well that only lasted for 5 seconds....YOU BEST REWIND YOURSELF
• Hey 30 people just died in a fiery car crash....AWWW SHIT REWIND YOURSELF

Any time you feel that someone needs to REWIND THEMSELVES just shout those two words. You can change it up by throwing a unique phrase in front of it or just say them alone. You can softly speak it, shout it, speak it as if you are retarded. However you want, just start making people REWIND.

Help me in getting this catch phrase out. Use it any chance you get. Share it around, I want the rest of 2011 to be the year of the REWIND.

OFWGKTA

This is a music post....

I've been jamming to OFWGKTA for the past few months, trying to figure out if they're a novelty act or a seriously legit hip-hop act. Well over the past few weeks that questions has been answered and these guys are burning up.

Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All (OFWGKTA) has broken through and the hype train is moving quick. Tyler, The Creator is basically the de-facto leader of the crew and is throwing down some sweet shit. This crew is made up of 16-20 years olds, mostly based out of CA. They specialize in what I call 'vicious' rap. Basically straight forward rap that will scare parents into thinking that it is the devils music. Tyler, The Creator and Hodgy Beats performed on the douche late night program Jimmy Fallon this past Wed. and put in one of the best/craziest late night performances ever. It just sucks that it's Jimmy Fallon - fuck him.



Another great thing about these fuckers is they put out like 10 albums last year, all for free . Check out their site.

I recommend Tyler, the Creator 'Bastard', Earl Sweatshirt 'Earl' and both Mellowhype albums - great starting points without getting to bogged down.

Tyler, the Creator has a new album coming out 'Goblin' and it will be the first pay album for these guys. Check it out. The single Yonkers is already out and the video is on the link above. Pretty solid.

If you haven't been living under a rock, you probably already know about these guys, but pass it on.
Free Earl. Fuck Steve Harvey.

Until I get some other music up and running, this should cover you for a while...

Videos

Just some videos I've come across. You may enjoy, you may not, if you're bored...why the hell not????
P.S. Might be more enjoyable if you're not in the right state of mind.

I like dancing cats...


Never wanted to be a cop more. Amazing 'staches. Check out the 2:30 mark for my new workout and bball techniques...
(excellent music as well)


When I make it back to KC, this is the guy I want to meet, remember, 'it's hip to give tips'. Sweet Rides...

Just Remember...I'm Not Perfect

In light of some recent events I've started to realize that many people view me as 100% perfect, in every way, shape, and form. Some people may even view me as 'Jesus' like - if you think Jesus is perfect, you know, his whole walking on water thing. Although, I don't want to burst your bubble - but this is not the case - let's try an activity...

Right now I want you to visualize someone who you think is perfect, it cannot be me (sorry), maybe it's John Daily, Obama, Osama, Justin Bieber or even Koko - now realize that they have flaws. For instance, Bieber is canadian, sure he has great hair but he probably doesn't believe in the right to carry a gun. These people, even though they seem perfect, have their own flaws, JUST LIKE ME.

I have many flaws, I'm not always the greatest ball player on the court (greatest white player? OF COURSE). I procrastinate, masturbate, and hibernate way too much. Not to mention my spot on rhyming skill. Do I always look good? Well of course I do, that is why many people think I'm perfect. It's usually more of my character flaws that show my true lack of perfection. From my hate of everyone that is not perfect, somehow that makes me not perfect (irony? onomatopoeia? shhhhhhhhh brrrrrrrrr). Obviously my knowledge of the english language and grammar ain't no weakness. Maybe it's because I make fun of anyone who is retarded or stuck at a dead end job. Let me be honest, it is very difficult for me to sit here and come up with any flaws but I want to drive home one point. I occasionally will have a mental break, where I lose my perfection for the slightest moment. It could a missed dunk, it could be rejection (in any aspect of my life), it could be lack of execution or lack of humor. But please stay with me, although my true colors may show through, I will always return to perfection shortly. I just need you to lower your expectations of me for very brief moments.

This has been a PSA from CcT. Thanks.

AHHHH!!!! PARTY MAN!!!

Masturbation time!!

Much love to my readers!!

Thoughts of Monday

Today was a tough day, it finally hit me....I'm TWENTY FUCKIN' FOUR. My life is over, I mean that's like hitting the biggest shit wall ever. I have nothing else to live for, I dare you to come up with three things that I should live for...

...marriage? haha - I will never find a diver named Stella, even if I do she'll most likely always be up and probably only have one leg - - shark attack.

...success? everyone knows success happens between the ages of 16 - 24 - no one wants to see a 24 year old fuck succeed at something, unless they're mentally handicapped or black. Face it, I'm stuck in a shitty ass cube for the next 60 years.

...facial hair? I don't deserve facial hair (maybe a soul patch)!

You're probably thinking - shit this guy's gonna commit suicide - NO my faithful reader that would make life too easy for you (plus I would fail at committing suicide unless I could find a gorge...where could I find a suicide gorge???) I will live to 100 years of age, I will stick it out, I will...why?

The same reason I've stuck out the first 24 years of my life. To blaze my own path - my own path of complete douchery. Do I want all the money in the world? Of Course. Do I want a full head of gorgeous shiny hair? Already have it! Do I want to pitch in the majors? Who Doesn't? Do I want to continue asking myself idiotic questions? Hells yeah. I don't know where I was going with this, but let me just finish by saying that I will continue living, as I have lived for the past 24 years, good or bad, I will make something of my life, most likely bad - but hey, people remember the bad lives as well (you've heard of Barrack Obama haven't you?).

In a semi-related note, I'm also down because I've realized I don't have a TRUE nemesis at this point. I believe everyone should have nemesis - someone who they really dislike for no obvious reason except that this person is just there. Someone you deal with daily, usually this is not direct contact but more likely an indirect contact, such as...sitting 10 cubes over, sitting 10 desks over, sitting 2 bus seats over. They are just around. It is very hard to explain why this person is a nemesis compared to an enemy or just plain fag, but for some reason they are like fingernails on a chalkboard - fucking annoying.

At this point I have no nemesis. During high school I had a nemesis, college oh fuck yeah, my first six months at work - you know it...but these past 4 months? No one, nothing, I simply can't find a suitable nemesis for my life. I don't want to force the issue and say - that guy mowing the grass in jean shorts is my new nemesis. A fag? Most likely. Nemesis? No. So as I search for a true nemesis, let's help you...

Stop reading. Just think for 5 seconds...do you have nemesis?? It should take no longer than 5 seconds to answer that question.

If you have a nemesis, CONGRATULATIONS. I applaud you, you may not realize how much having a true nemesis has improved your life but trust me it has.

If you don't have a nemesis, YOU SUCK. I laugh at you, but also want you to pay a little more attention to your daily routine. I can almost guarantee that there is someone you notice everyday that just destroys you. You want and need them as a nemesis - so keep your head up and here is to you finding that fingernail for the chalkboard of your life.


shew shew out

A M.I.A. Video on BMsF

I don't know what to say...the video has to be posted on BMsF. M.I.A's newest song "Born Free" off her soon to be released album. The video is crazy, we all hate GINGERS but this might take it too far. Check it out. The songs pretty solid as well.

M.I.A, Born Free from ROMAIN-GAVRAS on Vimeo.

Summer of 10' Road Trip...If YOU GOT THE BALLS

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It starts June 4th...goes roughly 2 months, 24 cities, 11,000 miles, 7 days of driving...why? 30 MLB games in 30 MLB stadiums. Logistics have been planned...now I just need 1 or 2 more brave soldiers for this epic, life changing event. You In?

Snitches get much worse than Stitches at BMsF, they get DiZZISSED

There is no need for any negativity on BMsF. It is a blog without hate, except it has a significant amount of hate. But I don't need new members who find this blog because they're are stealing music tastes of others. These people can leave and never return. They can doubt all they want, but guess what BMsF was built around doubt and just because your life does not stack up to the people around you, doesn't mean you have to come to cyber space, something you've built your life around, and drop negative remarks that really have no truth behind them. Although, the assuming remark was dead on (I shouldn't assume), but beyond that you got shit.

One of my pet peeves is that people think they know someone else because they hang out 5 times a year...come on. You're just making assumptions based on the very little knowledge you have or hear about that person and I think YOU, of all people, know what assuming does.

So believe what you will, believe what you want, in the end you got nothin', never have never will. No skills, no trades, no ladies, and I don't think you have a blog? If so, does it have over .34 readers a month? I highly doubt that.

Here's a little picture for everyone...blast from the past...maybe the snitch should have started using rogaine because damn the past 5 years have been rough. I guess you don't really need conditioner anymore.


P.S. I'm not calling Tunde Adebimpe a snitch, I have no information that he is or has ever been a snitch.
P.S.S. BRMC in one week...see you there snitch!

Old Skool (literally) Part Uno

I'm gonna try something new. One day a week I'm going to post a college assignment that I turned in at some point during my college career. I will try to give you a little background, if I remember the grade I received I'll post that, and the date created if found will be posted...hopefully you'll just be able to enjoy CcT from the years past. I will not alter these documents one bit, I will simply copy and paste. Let me inform you that I was not always in my right mind, for various reasons, but that makes this even more enjoyable. Some of these assignments might be multiple parts because of their length. Also, feel free to reproduce or use these anyway you see fit. Say you're in college and need a quick essay on Greenpeace, well I might just have one of those and if it's posted then it's fair game. I only ask for 99% of all money you make off it.

PART UNO
A blast from the past...this was the invention of the Koko name and as you can see from the getgo, I had many great ideas, but ultimately as shown from the below my main objective from the getgo was to piss off koko. This was not turned in as an assigment just something I put together and posted throughout the dorms, and torn down very quickly after by koko himself. It was created Wednesday February 23, 2005 (I just realized that was pretty much 5 years ago to the day...scary).

Condition that Shit

I'm sorry, I know this has been one of my hot button issues lately but I think it's absolutely critical that readers of BMsF know my position on this issue and try to spread the word.

Everyone, especially females, need to use conditioner. In today's world of 'looks reign supreme' one of the easiest ways to look amazing is by having fantastic hair. You can style it however you want, but ultimatley it comes down to the, pay attention to this word, CONDITION of your hair. It doesn't have to be an expensive conditioner just something to follow up a shampoo. It takes 30secs to 1min to properly condition your hair and it does a world of difference.

I don't want frizzy hair all up in my grill, I want to be able to spot a girl worth my while from 100 feet away, there are only two ways to do this: Body type and hair condition. If the fuckin' disco ball ain't reflecting off the hair then I'm not even gonna attempt that. I mean think about this...if she can't even take care of her hair, one of her most essential elements then how the fuck is she going to take care of anything else in her life. Of course, I look into how it's cut, the layering, the coloring, the style and I know that this is not of utmost importance to guys but really just think about it. Frizzy hair = shitty girl (this is not a scientific correlation, but I have enough experience to draw a simple conclusion).

One recommendation, guys just keep a bottle of conditioner in your shower. Even if you don't use it, it will truly benefit you in many ways. 1) A girl that see's this in your shower realizes that you may actually have some good common sense. It may be the factor that pushes her over the edge because you are able to show some sentiment and hell same correlation (shitty hair = shitty guy). 2) Say you are letting a girl shower at your place (I don't care why) and she didn't plan ahead and have her own shit (again no details needed, --side note: if she brings her shit to your place and doesn't bring conditioner, get her ass to the street asap--) she can use your conditioner, this way she doesn't skip a day, because then you couldn't see her until she showered properly. 3) Just fucking use it yourself. Trust me, tangle free, shiny, smooth...the whole package.

I know this seems like a petty thing but I mean showering, washing your hair is something everyone does (every respectable person, that is), it's like the 6th amendment, and you can't do something that takes 30 seconds but yet adds an incalculable amount of value to your life then shit you ain't worth anyone's time, especially mine!

A very good conditioner...one of many million...

IT HURTS...I CRY...I'M DEHYDRATED

Any of you who know me just the slightest amount know the past 8 months of my life has been utterly consumed by one person. This person is like someone I have never met before, this person has every single trait that I'm looking for in a girlfriend...no scratch that...in a wife. Every minute of my life is consumed with thoughts of her, how much I like her, how much my life has improved since I've known her, and most importantly how the fuck can I break her and her boyfriend up and then move in on that.

This person is ASIAN.

It is with great sorrow that I write that she is leaving my place of employment. She has been offered a much better position with a much stronger company. I do not blame her...well yes I do. I am CRUSHED! She made going to work 100x better, she made it fun, she made it seem worthwhile. Now I have to go sit in my fucking cube knowing that 10 feet away there is no more Asian, it is as if a piece of me has died. As I've said this was probably the most normal, sane relationship I had ever been in. We talked everyday and as our time together grew we talked about everything and every day I realized how perfect she is.

Just read the below paragraph and try to tell me that she is not perfect for me....

She is amazingly attractive/gorgeous/beautiful, she drives a Lexus, she is materialistic and fashion oriented, she's skinny, she's smart, she enjoys sports including baseball, she has seen Eyedea & Abilities (I mean some people who 'love' underground hip-hop can't even pronounce their name!) live (years ago...amazing) and knows about underground hip-hop among many other music types, she has a sense of humor including sarcasm, shes a total bitch to other people, she gave me prescription drugs to enjoy, our kids were going to be the ultimate leaders (Aryan Race Samurai Ninjas), but most of all she actually thought I deserved this job and I'm pretty sure she is the first person who has ever believed in me.

I'm sure I'm forgetting some of her key traits but I mean how can she not be my perfect girl. She is! I really have nothing else to say, it has been a very dark day for me indeed but ultimately I feel that we have a connection and somehow someway we will end up with each other, even if it requires a murder and let's just say a GHB, that's very hypothetical.

--Side Note-- Also, she was going to be part of the Chinese Dragons Dos, which if you aren't familiar with the Chinese Dragons Uno let me fill you in. They were the largest Korean gang in Littleton Colorado. Their reign lasted from 2003-2004, with a total of 4 members at their peak. The ruled the 3 school LPS district with an iron fist, they had drag races daily and were also known for such things as ruthlessly spraying soy sauce in enemies eyes. Well let me just say that their leader went into hiding after the heat was put on them but the Chinese Dragons were coming back to full strength in 2010, surpassing their previous high with 5 members. But now that is all up in the air. So don't cry for me but cry for the Chinese Dragons----

I feel I left many things out, I wrote this on the BlackBerry downtown after Happy Hour with Asian among others...we spoke, she asked me about my girl situation, I did not know how to answer that. The day was long, it was hard, it had it's ups and it had one major down. The night is still strong because in case you were wondering how Eyedea & Abilties was brought up with Asian it's because I'm currently at the Marquis watching Eyedea & Abilities with Shannon, I guess my girl situation.

A apologize for the grammar and spelling mistakes and hopefully this formats well enough on the blog...PLEASE provide me with any suggestions on how to move on from this difficult time because I feel like every time I see her in the next 2 weeks I'm gonna Ted Mosby it, by just saying I love you.


P.S. One way I'm gonna try and get over this is when I get home...no scratch that...right now via the iPod Touch, is I'm gonna watch/view a whole HEAP of Asian porn!!!!

Still Alive...Kind Of...Not Really

I'm sitting here listening to BRMC and watching the Jayhawks dismantle the Longhorns - Rock Chalk - I thought it might be a good time to update you cunts...

So many things are constantly going through my head but yet I never have the time, well actually never have the energy to write any of that shit down. I cannot force myself to be funny, it just naturally has to happen and that is why this blog has been dormant for several months now. A once thriving community of stoners/bitches/and cowboys has been left for dead but do not fear because everyday that I sit in my cube and think about how fucking burnt out I am you guys/gals/its are always in the back of my mind.

I would rather give you no blog than a Sub-par blog. It was almost one year ago that I wrote my infamous 'valentines' day post that really put this blog on the charts. But that was then...when I was in class for 2 hours a day, and had pretty much no other goals in life. Today though it's slightly different. I still have no goals but I work 9 hours a day, have a semi-serious relationship with some crazy bitch, am constantly trying to move in on the Asian and just recently ran into one of my past soul mates. Not only am I battling all that pussy, I'm also fighting a very different kind of pussy. I'm always trying to destroy other peoples lives at the same time, I need people who are complete failures around me at all times and this is not always easy. So as you can see my slate is full of really stupid shit but it's full none the less.

As I said though...I have a lot of great stories brewing I just have to set the time to get that shit into the world wide web. I promise you though, I have not lost ONE FUCKING STEP, I'm still the one, the only, the original COOLcalmT. So please continue to check back regularly because BMsF will return to the glory days.


As always..........MUCH LOVE from Casa De Amour......

P.S. I forgot to mention that when I'm not working or battling pussy I'm looking for it on the web...STILL LOVE THE PORN...great shit, takes up 4-5hrs a day, so as you can see I'm bushed (pun somewhat intended??)

MARIO PARTY!