The EXCITING Weekend of a 24 Year Old

One of the great features of BMsF of the past were the true (even though many people felt they were fabricated) stories that happened to CcT. These were often very simple events but spun into great stories that even Great Gatsby couldn't compete with - I think that makes sense?? Well as you have noticed, since college ended and my professional career began - these stories are non existent, for one very good reason: There have been no stories...but that all changed (not really, just felt like writing).

I wanted to try and get a story up that shows what an exciting weekend is to a 24 year old. I understand that my general readership is younger - not "I'm Chris Hansen" young but still young enough to have fun. So even though this was a weird weekend, it's probably nothing compared to what y'all did....

Some names have been changed...for no apparent reason...I go by Steve Stephens Stephenson III....

Thursday / March 3, 2011 - Story starts after work...

6:15 pm - Went to the Dentist, got loaded on novocain and had 2 cavities filled.  I think I was given way too much novocain for the procedure but who am I to complain? Pretty pissed that the dum dums and coke finally caught up to me but that's why I have dental insurance and a membership to Sam's Club, don't fucking forget that I'm a professional.

7:00 pm - Went home, grabbed some food - pretty sure it was Reese's Peanut Butter Hearts and Mountain Dew Voltage (PROFESSIONAL DINNER). Could only use the right side of my mouth, since the left side was still numb, I drooled quite a bit but as always, looked damn good doing it. Changed shirts and watched the Royals on TV.

10:00 pm - Decided to go out with this girl, Erin. A little girl background...only hung out a few times, only knew her for about three/four weeks - who the fuck cares. We had a mutual friend. I never wanted/expected anything to come from this friendship/acquaintance, just have some fun and then go our own ways. Nut up or shut up, that sounds kinda gay. Anyways, we started hanging out at her house, smoking and drinking with a few other people...

Friday / March 4, 2011

1:30 am - By now it was just me and Erin - we decided we'd venture out, head downtown. What a fucking pair of dumb asses. 1:30 am Friday morning, shit is shutting down. Everything is dead or dying. We couldn't find anything, but I definitely should not have been driving. So after driving around just chillin' - listening to music and smoking some more (not in the car), we decided to head back. Coming back on I-25, right past I-25 and Yale she looks at me with a pale face and says "I'm not feeling real good..." next thing I know, brahhhhhh brrrrrrrrrruhhhhh, vomit spewing as if Mount Vesuvius was in the passenger seat. The passenger side floor mat was covered, at least she had the common sense/decency to contain it all into that area. Well the smell started to fill the car, not sure what she had for dinner, but it sure as hell was no Reese's Peanut Butter Hearts and Mountain Dew Voltage. Well I skid to a stop on the side of I-25, getting out and trying to avoid the vomit chain reaction. She's able to finish on the side of the road, I'm able to carefully lift up the floor mat and dump it's contents on the side of the interstate. Avoiding any major fiasco - it could have been MUCH worse.

2:30 am - I'm able to drop her off at her home and wish her a good life. You DO NOT FUCK WITH MY CAR, even if it's an accident.

2:45 am - I make it home. Thank god I had an old set of floor mats that I was easily able to put in the car and for the most part make most of the incident disappear. I sprayed some febreze and armor alled (?) the components. I cleaned any carpet and upholstery that had any traces of vomit. Sprayed some more febreze and if you never knew this took place you would never know. Remember I did all this drunk/hung over and a little high, it came out very nice. In fact, someone rode in that exact seat on Saturday and didn't know one thing - he did point out my poor speaker system, fucker...

3:20 am - I finally climb into bed after deleting Erin's number from my phone. She might have been too much fun.

6:00 am - Wake up, shower, drink coke and mountain dew, down Advil.

7:00 am - Go to work

7:15 am - Decking meeting. The topic: How can we expand our 4+ million dollars of sales in the Denver market over the next year? Answer: Burn all current decks to the ground (not really).

4:45 pm - Go home

5:15 pm - Plan a nap. Have plans at 10:00 with this girl, Rachael. A little girl background...been hanging out for about four months. Met each other via a coworker. Real cool girl, just simple, hang out once a week or so and have fun. Nothing crazy. Set my alarm for 9:00 pm so I can meet up with her. Don't fall asleep till like 7:00 pm.

Saturday / March 5, 2011

11:00 am - Wake up, confused out of my fucking mind. Realized I slept for 16 hours and missed all plans. Have 3 missed calls from Rachael, an angry voice mail and a several profane texts. She does not respond to anything I send her (still hasn't).

11:45 am - Go to get a hair cut. Nice and relaxing, short hair again. Forget about everything else.

1:00 pm - Go jogging with Moose (Este).

2:00 pm - Set plans to play racquetball and basketball at 3:30 pm with Koko and GG, why the fuck not?

3:15 pm - Go to pick up GG and buy racquetballs at Sports Authority. Asian kid at Sports Authority recognizes me from Arapahoe, my only assumption is that he was part of my Korean Gang, the Chinese Dragons. We were huge. Legen - wait for it - dary. Got very angry at Sports Authority when I realized that Racket sports only have a small corner not near any other athletic gear. What the fuck??

3:45 pm - Dominate racquetball and basketball, of course....

6:30 pm - Get food, make up a story so I don't have to hang with Koko for the rest of the night. Talk to Mikey.

8:00 pm - Get home, change, rest up - possibly look at porn - no possibly, I do look at porn.

9:15 pm - Head out towards Wash Park.

9:35 pm - Get to a small bar in Wash Park, drink and play darts. Mike leaves at like 10:00 pm.

11:30 pm - Me and two others head towards another bar at 6th and Logan. Decent scene. Used a Saab pick up line, didn't hit.

Sunday / March 6, 2011

12:39 am - One of the guys I was with starts talking to this obliterated chick. I mean obliterated - she has NO clue what is going on. Spend the rest of the night just drinking and hanging out.

1:30 am - Last call. Obliterated girl, still with us. Falls off stool - fucking hilarious. We face a moral dilemma, what do we do with this girl? If I would have been 21 I would have bailed and left her to get raped or kill several others in a car crash. Since we're somewhat good people we decided we'd try and get her home (and then rape her - 100% joke). We were able to get her address from her and then realized that she lived north of Stapleton, basically at MLK Blvd and Quebec. Well fuck...

1:45 am - Pile into my car, of course. She's starting to come to a little and promises us some weed, not very interested just trying to stay alive. She then calls her boyfriend (even though she apparently tried several times previously for a ride) and gives me the phone so I can explain the situation, I don't and he seems a little drunk and pissed that three guys are driving his girlfriend home. We're all starting to get a little STARTLED.

2:10 am - Start getting close to her house, which she owns and pays a mortgage on, except it was an apartment complex. Retard. Side note...funny joke that seems to always make people laugh no matter the situation. Whenever you pull into a somewhat seedy area, hit the door lock button on the car, especially if you have loud door locks like mine, it is a riot. No one can resist the perfect timing of 4 doors locking simultaneously. CLASSIC.

2:15 am - Park at her apartment complex. Try and get her to her apartment, climb the outside stairs to her supposed door. She can't find her keys. Dumps out her entire purse on the steps. She then slowly rolls down the stairs in a moment of mixed sadness and hilarity. We do what any drunk guys would do, haul ass....for no real reason except that we'd had enough. One guy didn't notice the chain that was hanging about 1 foot off the ground. He ate shit in the parking lot. Again, hilarious. He got pretty beat up but nothing major.

2:25 am - Peel out of the parking lot, start driving back towards the first bar. Realize the guy who fell does not have his cell phone. We all start screaming, again no apparent reason, make a mad Uie and spend a few moments searching for the phone where he fell. All the while, obliterated girl is still laying at the bottom of the stairs. Find phone.

2:30 am - Crank the techno, get out of the hood. Followed by a cop for several blocks. I mean 3 white kids in a black Saab around MLK at 2:30 Sunday Morning driving drunk - not good.

2:55 am - Arrive back at bar one. Everyone gets in their respective cars and we leave.

3:15 am - After driving the speed limit all the way, finally get home. Watch Frasier, need some smart humor. Fall asleep.

11:00 am - Wake up. Watch Date Night staring Steve Carell and Tina Fey, not great. Ate more Reese's Peanut Butter Hearts.

1:30 pm - Did laundry. Cleaned. Napped.

6:30 pm - Went to the horses, brushed them, rode one...saw a pack of coyotes, thought I was gonna die. Didn't.

8:30 pm - Picked up food.

9:30 pm - Took out the trash.

10:00 pm - Showered and watched Seinfeld.

11:00 pm - Porn and Music.

Monday / March 7, 2011

12:05 am - Bed.

6:00 am - Woke up

7:00 am - Went to work.

5:40 pm - Came home from work.

7:00 pm - Ate Chili - homemade.

8:00 pm - Blogged.



The above events are 100% true and accurate as far as I can remember. As you were probably thinking, I should have lied since it sounded so gay. But that is a 100% true account of one weekend of a professional 24 year old, who is really clinging to scraps of his once former greatness.

I hope you enjoyed it. I know it's nothing like your life but still I've lived many great nights before, this was just a weird set of nights that I thought I should share.

Sorry for the grammar and spelling errors.