IT HURTS...I CRY...I'M DEHYDRATED

Any of you who know me just the slightest amount know the past 8 months of my life has been utterly consumed by one person. This person is like someone I have never met before, this person has every single trait that I'm looking for in a girlfriend...no scratch that...in a wife. Every minute of my life is consumed with thoughts of her, how much I like her, how much my life has improved since I've known her, and most importantly how the fuck can I break her and her boyfriend up and then move in on that.

This person is ASIAN.

It is with great sorrow that I write that she is leaving my place of employment. She has been offered a much better position with a much stronger company. I do not blame her...well yes I do. I am CRUSHED! She made going to work 100x better, she made it fun, she made it seem worthwhile. Now I have to go sit in my fucking cube knowing that 10 feet away there is no more Asian, it is as if a piece of me has died. As I've said this was probably the most normal, sane relationship I had ever been in. We talked everyday and as our time together grew we talked about everything and every day I realized how perfect she is.

Just read the below paragraph and try to tell me that she is not perfect for me....

She is amazingly attractive/gorgeous/beautiful, she drives a Lexus, she is materialistic and fashion oriented, she's skinny, she's smart, she enjoys sports including baseball, she has seen Eyedea & Abilities (I mean some people who 'love' underground hip-hop can't even pronounce their name!) live (years ago...amazing) and knows about underground hip-hop among many other music types, she has a sense of humor including sarcasm, shes a total bitch to other people, she gave me prescription drugs to enjoy, our kids were going to be the ultimate leaders (Aryan Race Samurai Ninjas), but most of all she actually thought I deserved this job and I'm pretty sure she is the first person who has ever believed in me.

I'm sure I'm forgetting some of her key traits but I mean how can she not be my perfect girl. She is! I really have nothing else to say, it has been a very dark day for me indeed but ultimately I feel that we have a connection and somehow someway we will end up with each other, even if it requires a murder and let's just say a GHB, that's very hypothetical.

--Side Note-- Also, she was going to be part of the Chinese Dragons Dos, which if you aren't familiar with the Chinese Dragons Uno let me fill you in. They were the largest Korean gang in Littleton Colorado. Their reign lasted from 2003-2004, with a total of 4 members at their peak. The ruled the 3 school LPS district with an iron fist, they had drag races daily and were also known for such things as ruthlessly spraying soy sauce in enemies eyes. Well let me just say that their leader went into hiding after the heat was put on them but the Chinese Dragons were coming back to full strength in 2010, surpassing their previous high with 5 members. But now that is all up in the air. So don't cry for me but cry for the Chinese Dragons----

I feel I left many things out, I wrote this on the BlackBerry downtown after Happy Hour with Asian among others...we spoke, she asked me about my girl situation, I did not know how to answer that. The day was long, it was hard, it had it's ups and it had one major down. The night is still strong because in case you were wondering how Eyedea & Abilties was brought up with Asian it's because I'm currently at the Marquis watching Eyedea & Abilities with Shannon, I guess my girl situation.

A apologize for the grammar and spelling mistakes and hopefully this formats well enough on the blog...PLEASE provide me with any suggestions on how to move on from this difficult time because I feel like every time I see her in the next 2 weeks I'm gonna Ted Mosby it, by just saying I love you.


P.S. One way I'm gonna try and get over this is when I get home...no scratch that...right now via the iPod Touch, is I'm gonna watch/view a whole HEAP of Asian porn!!!!