Thoughts of Monday

Today was a tough day, it finally hit me....I'm TWENTY FUCKIN' FOUR. My life is over, I mean that's like hitting the biggest shit wall ever. I have nothing else to live for, I dare you to come up with three things that I should live for...

...marriage? haha - I will never find a diver named Stella, even if I do she'll most likely always be up and probably only have one leg - - shark attack.

...success? everyone knows success happens between the ages of 16 - 24 - no one wants to see a 24 year old fuck succeed at something, unless they're mentally handicapped or black. Face it, I'm stuck in a shitty ass cube for the next 60 years.

...facial hair? I don't deserve facial hair (maybe a soul patch)!

You're probably thinking - shit this guy's gonna commit suicide - NO my faithful reader that would make life too easy for you (plus I would fail at committing suicide unless I could find a gorge...where could I find a suicide gorge???) I will live to 100 years of age, I will stick it out, I will...why?

The same reason I've stuck out the first 24 years of my life. To blaze my own path - my own path of complete douchery. Do I want all the money in the world? Of Course. Do I want a full head of gorgeous shiny hair? Already have it! Do I want to pitch in the majors? Who Doesn't? Do I want to continue asking myself idiotic questions? Hells yeah. I don't know where I was going with this, but let me just finish by saying that I will continue living, as I have lived for the past 24 years, good or bad, I will make something of my life, most likely bad - but hey, people remember the bad lives as well (you've heard of Barrack Obama haven't you?).

In a semi-related note, I'm also down because I've realized I don't have a TRUE nemesis at this point. I believe everyone should have nemesis - someone who they really dislike for no obvious reason except that this person is just there. Someone you deal with daily, usually this is not direct contact but more likely an indirect contact, such as...sitting 10 cubes over, sitting 10 desks over, sitting 2 bus seats over. They are just around. It is very hard to explain why this person is a nemesis compared to an enemy or just plain fag, but for some reason they are like fingernails on a chalkboard - fucking annoying.

At this point I have no nemesis. During high school I had a nemesis, college oh fuck yeah, my first six months at work - you know it...but these past 4 months? No one, nothing, I simply can't find a suitable nemesis for my life. I don't want to force the issue and say - that guy mowing the grass in jean shorts is my new nemesis. A fag? Most likely. Nemesis? No. So as I search for a true nemesis, let's help you...

Stop reading. Just think for 5 seconds...do you have nemesis?? It should take no longer than 5 seconds to answer that question.

If you have a nemesis, CONGRATULATIONS. I applaud you, you may not realize how much having a true nemesis has improved your life but trust me it has.

If you don't have a nemesis, YOU SUCK. I laugh at you, but also want you to pay a little more attention to your daily routine. I can almost guarantee that there is someone you notice everyday that just destroys you. You want and need them as a nemesis - so keep your head up and here is to you finding that fingernail for the chalkboard of your life.


shew shew out